Happy January!

I've always loved the lines from You've Got Mail:

Joe Fox: Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils...

You see, I could be completely swept off my feet by a bouquet of sharpened pencils or a fresh new-smelling calendar. Not because I'm an office supply junkie (although a case could be made) but because I love new beginnings. If you want to find me brimming with energy and optimism look for me at a new beginning.

January with a new calendar in front of me or August when school starts. I love the chance to take a very deep breath, and pause to look at the upcoming future and create a plan.

And while by this time each year I'm knee deep in the process, this year has had a few unexpected interruptions but at this moment... I finally have some quiet. Real quiet and mental quiet.

I have a freshly sharpened pencil, a clean calendar and some space to breathe, pray and think. So, right now, I'm getting busy about that business. I'm asking questions: What does God want to show me in this new year? Who do I need to get up beside this year to encourage, support, walk together with and/or learn from? How can I be a better me, wife, mom, daughter, leader, friend this year? What do I need to do? What do I need to stop doing? And as I ask, listen and find answers a plan will take shape. And I will get to take my freshly sharpened pencil to my crisp clean calendar and get busy.

Happy January!

What does January inspire in you?

Too busy to twitter?!? - Barometers

I have a few barometers in my life that I track to see if I am in a danger zone with how I'm handling my life. These are indicators that help me know if I've gotten too busy, too focus or too distracted away from my priorities, God, Gary, my family.

My friend, Jan , mentioned one yesterday in her own life that help me realize these in my own... She twittered that she had been so busy yesterday that she couldn't twitter! I walked through most of yesterday side by side with Jan and I can tell you that she's absolutely right. I, too, only had time yesterday to shoot a quick twitter to Jackie to let her know I was praying for her exams.

This time of year is the busiest time of year by far for me. So I have to watch my barometers very closely. Some of my barometers may seem silly to you but they scream at me "WARNING!! - some things are out of whack! You're getting dangerously close to mishandling life and the people around you that you love."

Here are some of my barometers: If my devotions file does not come up in my most recently accessed file list, if my children are playacting phone conversations as their primary play time, if I've gone too long between posting to one of my blogs, if I haven't had more than an "information download" conversation with Gary and a couple of close friends in my life, if I find myself saying encouraging phrases like "ho, ho, ho... bah-humbug!" more than once a week.

This week is crunch week - and I'm feeling it. So far my barometers are rising but not in the danger zone.

How about you? What are your barometers and what are they saying this week?

Making Christmas special

For those of us who lead in churches and create services and special moments for others at Christmas, the holidays are often not the time of year we look forward to the most.  Instead, the holidays can become extra rushed, stressful and draining.  

But, it is crucial that we still have times that are renewing and significant for ourselves and our families. 

I'm just a couple of years into learning this lesson.  I don't get it right every year, but I am establishing a few traditions that are extremely important to me and hopefully to my family as well.  

What do you do?  What traditions and practices make Christmas more meaningful for you as you serve?

I'd like to invite you to our Christmas production!

This Christmas we are presenting:

Restoring the Wonder of Christmas

It is a beautiful display of how God is with us in our circumstances wherever we are, here in Clearwater, halfway around the world in Nakuru, Kenya, anywhere.  

I'm really excited about our opportunity to work with Dundu Dole a group here in Clearwater well know for their involvement in the excellent, annual holiday presentation, "The Chocolate Nutcracker."  

To reserve free tickets to "Wonder" go to:

Cypress Meadows Community Church

I hope you will join me at one of our four performances.  If you do, track me down... I'll be the girl wandering around the back of the room in a headset.

NICU, ER and grace through community - the stuff our Thanksgiving was made of

Thank you so much to all who have expressed concern and offered prayers, encouragement and support over the last week for our family.  Many have done so without even knowing what was going on, just knowing that we looked exhausted and that I kept posting cryptic but unsettling updates on Facebook and Twitter. 

This past week has been extremely difficult for us as a family.  We welcomed our newest Kistner, my nephew, Bradley Allen, on Tuesday.  By Thursday morning he had already had two surgeries in his short little life.  Cameron and I spent most of Wednesday night and again Thursday night in ER for complications from a high fever spike and continuing high fever.  Saturday night we got the call from Scott and Tiffany that Bradley would most likely not make it through the night.  And to add just a little more, Connor developed a stomach bug Saturday morning around 3.  

So, by the time many of you saw me Sunday morning I was running on 90 minutes of sleep for Saturday night and an average of 4 hours of sleep a night for the previous 4 nights.  (Note to those of you reading this who also direct services, I would not recommend directing on 90 minutes of sleep.  It tends to throw your observation filter off. )

So, what we would be fine not doing the rest of 2008 - nervously waiting in hospitals watching people, especially babies, we love suffering.  

What we hope to not stop doing - being a part of true loving community.

I can't possibly include here all of the incredible outpourings of love that have been expressed to us in the last week but here are a few that I'd like to mention and thank.

Bob and Dana Richardson made it to my house in under 3 minutes Wednesday night to watch Connor and get Cameron and I to the hospital.  Bob even broke traffic laws with my blessing to see that Cameron got there as quickly as possible. 

Our family, Sharon, Tona, and Carol, who after a long day of waiting in the NICU waiting room in Tampa rushed to the Clearwater ER in the middle of the night to be with Gary, Cameron and me.

Sharon for going with me to ER on Thanksgiving night and Jacquelyn for being an awesome big sis and entertaining Connor for hours while we were in ER. 

My Mom, from out of town, checking in frequently around the clock on Bradley and Cameron and offering to head here at a moment's notice if we needed them to.

Jerry and Jamie spent Saturday night at the hospital with Gary and Scott and Tiffany praying like crazy Bradley would pull through and graciously sent me texts with info as I paced nervously at home with two sick boys. 

Gerry and Kay helped by "thinking for me" Sunday when my brain or emotions wouldn't allow me to think clearly on my own - covering things for me with team members at church and lining up childcare so Gary and I could be at the hospital.

Gerry and Bob came over to watch my two sick boys yesterday to allow Gary and I to be at the hospital with Scott and Tiff when things were looking really bad for Baby Bradley.  (Trust me, watching a puke-y 2 year old is real grace in action!)  

The ladies of our group headed to the hospital to support Scott and Tiffany. 

Donna who just saw me Sunday between services and held me while I cried and has through all of this been on back up to call for whatever we needed. 

And the literally hundreds of people who have been praying for Bradley, Scott, Tiffany and our family.  

Bradley is not out of the woods, but seems to have turned a significant corner last night.  And I'm off to a follow up appointment with our pediatrician. 

I remember years ago a season when our pastor kept asking the questions:  If your car broke down in the middle of the Bayside bridge, who would you call for help?  If you lost your job, who would you call for support and encouragement?  If your child got sick in the middle of the night, who would you call?  Back then I didn't know and that grieved me deeply. 

Now, I know exactly who I would call, and who I did call.  And I am so thankful to God for showing His grace and love to our family through the people He has put in our lives. 

So, who would you call?

"and.... Oh yeah! ..... Jesus."

Last weekend at a community event we were promoting our upcoming Christmas production, Restoring the Wonder of Jesus.  I learned a lot of things about how our productions are perceived through what I heard people saying as they promoted the services. First,  they considered our services "not traditional" (true),  another that they are considered "really good" (also true - I always hope).  But the last thing I learned was not about our particular production.  It was about me, about the process surrounding large productions, and about what comes out in a moment of chaos. 

I had just arrived at the festival with two kids, about 5 miscellaneous bags and a McDonald's hamburger (my dinner) in tow.  I was running late and feeling terribly irresponsible.  It was one of those moments I now consider par for the coarse in the fall of each year.  The minute I walked up to the table I was hit with the question "Deana, how would you describe this year's Christmas production?"  

In the chaos of the moment my mind was far from centered on the meaning of what we'll be presenting this year and even further from how I would sum it all up in a neatly packaged, marketing savy sentence. 

My mind started racing with the following thoughts:

Well, we're bringing in an awesome African drum and dance group

We'll be showing footage from Nakuru, Kenya where we're building an orphanage

The band is going to ROCK!

We'll have a teaching

Uh-oh... did I just see Connor hit his little brother out of the corner of my eye?

There are beautiful snow globes involved in the marketing 

And we'll use our snow machine

Somehow I tried my best to grab all of those words and tie them up neatly in something like:

"We're going to show how in spite of the fact that for so many around the world wonder seems to be lost in their lives, Christmas really can be a time of wonder and hope for all of us."

The lady I was answering looked at me with a puzzled look.  Looked at the banner behind me "Cypress Meadows Community Church."  And said, "And Jesus.  Isn't it all about Him?!"

I had an instantaneous gut check and then muttered something brilliant like "and... Oh yeah!... Jesus."

But that moment has stuck in my mind ever since and I pray it never leaves.  

Of course, the reality is that Jesus is very much the center of what we are trying to communicate through our Christmas production this year.  But, in the chaos of the moment it is not what came out of my mouth.  

So, if clearly communicating the story of Jesus and His love for us is where we start and it is where we end, how do we keep it the center of our thoughts throughout the process?  

Whether I'm talking about a production, my ministry budget, the things I want to be teaching my children, the way I want to treat my husband or the basis on which I truly want to build my relationships and my life I don't ever want it to be "and... Oh yeah!... Jesus."  

I want Christ's love to not only be what I say but how I am living.  And shouldn't that be the case in the peaceful and in the chaotic moments?

I wish I could go back and get a do-over in talking with the lady at the festival.  If I could I would tell her:

You know, we all long to see true wonder and magic in our world -especially when our world is far from full of wonder.  These feelings seem to stir even deeper in us around the holidays. Christ came into our world on the first Christmas to allow us to believe in that wonder we long for.  He is the hope we are all looking for.  This Christmas we want to remember that this is what we are celebrating.  

It is all about Jesus. 

"Light Off"

The time change has seriously messed with my schedule this year. Apparently, whoever created this plan 1. does not have small children and 2. does not have an enormous need for routine and structure like I do. Since the time change my boys have been waking up sometimes as early as 5:45 taking away my early morning "get stuff really done" block of time. I'm really missing the days when they slept 11 hours.

Yesterday Connor woke up again super, super early...before the sun. I heard him stirring and came to check on him. As he opened his bedroom door he started crying and said "Light off, Mommy." As I grabbed him to hold him I realized he was shaking he was so scared. I asked if he was scared and he replied "yes" and buried his head into my shoulder. I reassured him that the lights are off at night time, it's completely normal and I held him as we collected a couple of treasured toys to join him back in bed until the sun came up.

But it made me think. It made me think of several friends I know who are going through really tough, really scary times. They are no longer two and somehow between then and now it has become unacceptable to just say "light off... I'm scared". They have in their own ways said or done things to show that they are scared, but you have to listen really close or you'll miss it. Of course, my friends are the ones I do know about. What about the tons of people in my life and ministry that I don't know about because they aren't saying "I'm scared?" It means that they walk through the tough, scary times alone.

So, how do we reach out to people who are longing for what Connor needed so badly that morning: comfort, reassurance and someone just there to hold them and hear them admit they are scared? How do we make sure to really know the people around us that we serve with and do life with? How do we create environments that are safe enough to say "light off" and then provide helpful support to them?