Thought for today

No, Mom, I'm quite sure I don't have "walking pneumonia."

And unless a new strain of "vacuuming, party planning, potty training, strategic plan writing, from scratch cooking, custom fit for a working mother of two under three strain of pneumonia" has developed I don't think it has me either.

Saying goodbye to a lady with quite a legacy

My grandmother passed away this afternoon. Through the course of "life stuff" such as divorces, geography, etc. there were a lot of ways in which I didn't really know her. But there are some incredibly important ways that I did.

To most people she was Fern.
Legally she was Rebecca Fern Blankenship Thorn.
To me she was Mamaw.
She adored my grandfather and has missed him terribly since his passing two years ago.
She and my grandfather had been together for 6 decades!
She gave birth to 9 children and survived the passing of three of them.
She had more grandchildren than I can remember (and it took her some time to remember when asked.)
She would cook 5 meals (and I mean meals) a day for her family.
She had a beautiful smile.
She was a pretty fiesty lady.
By actions she made it known that God and her family were vitally important to her.

And there were at least a couple of lessons I've learned better from her than from anyone else.

She taught me what true generosity is. In spite of facing the struggles of life in a rural coal mining town, and in spite of the size of our family, she would send gifts on more holidays than many people do. She remembered birthdays, Christmas, Easter and even Valentines day by sending gifts and money orders. She's the only one I know who still used money orders on a regular basis. I was always so humbled that she would find a way to send me and my husband and my children all of these gifts.

She and Papaw also were a vehicle God used recently to teach me unconditional and unwavering love. In spite of our distance and irregular contact, they both always greeted me with the most sincere "Hey Honey! I love you! How are you doing?" whether by phone or in person. And each conversation would pick up as if I'd been there all along. The last time I saw them it didn't matter how long it had been since I'd seen them last they both greeted me, held me and looked me in the eye affirming my place in our family and in their hearts as if we'd been together every day of the last several years. That last meeting gave me a small glimpse of how the prodigal son must have felt being held by his father upon his return.

Mamaw leaves an unbelievable legacy of family and friends who know of her love for God and her family. Who have all learned lessons from her as I have.

I hope that I too leave a legacy that will make her proud.

My favorite story

I've read the story of the woman with the bleeding disorder hundreds of times now probably. It is clearly my favorite story of Jesus performing a miracle. This morning as I read it, I liked what the Message says , "Daughter, you took a risk of faith, and now you’re healed and whole. Live well, live blessed! Be healed of your plague.”

Recently, after hearing a couple of teachings, I'm struck by the significance of a couple of things in this story. First, I'm struck by the significance of her touching Him in this crowd. Second, I'm struck by the significance of Him speaking to her in this crowd.

Women in that day and culture were so disregarded. But not by Christ. And women with bleeding disorders were considered lower than the lowest because that meant they were "unclean". She was probably not even supposed to be out in public much less "jostling" through a crowd. She stood a great chance of being publicly shamed. But not by Christ.

Wow! The results she gained from taking that risk!

She got to speak with Jesus!
He spoke a blessing over her in front of the entire crowd!
and she was healed.

He spoke a blessing over her in front of the entire crowd!

How very cool is that!

"Live well, and live blessed!" and *then* He says "Be healed of your plague." Of course, they both knew she already was, but the way it is stated here almost suggests that the healing is almost just a bonus. That the real benefit was His blessing to her to live well and live blessed.

There's been a lot of focus recently on the role of women in leadership in the church. This conversation always gets my attention because I have felt, since high school, that God put a call on my life to be involved in arts in the local church, and for now that calling is to lead arts in my local church. And while for many, that alone is a large risk of faith, I have been very blessed with a church who sees women the way Christ did and involves them in every level of leadership.

So, for me and those of you like me in similar roles, I wonder, reading this, what risks of faith have I taken recently? And where I haven't what blessings am I missing out on?

How about you?

See you!

A few months back Connor was busy "playing blocks" and I heard him call over to me "Mommy - see you!". I turned and saw this:



Of course it made me laugh and, obviously, grab my camera. But, more importantly, it's got me thinking.

For the past several months I've noticed an ability that I have, one I'm rather good at, in fact, that I wish weren't the case at all.

I can spend hours with a person and not really "see" them. How is that possible?! How can I be in the same room with my husband, even engaged in conversation and miss the smile in his eyes over the huge accomplishment he's just made? Or how can I sit and play with my sons and not see the wonder of the new discoveries they are making almost every moment?! Or how can I share lunch with a friend and miss the fear they have bottled up inside over an upcoming medical diagnosis? When I stop and realize that I'm doing this it just makes me angry!

The answer is, of course, that my mind is so busy racing on all of the "busy-ness" of life: errands to be run, calls to be made, services to be planned, sets to be designed, artists to be booked, blogs to be written, bills to be paid, etc. that my focus is on my to-do list, my agenda rather than on the amazing person I'm sharing the moment with.

My friend, Randy Elrod, talks about the difference between minutes and moments. That difference is huge. I think that truly "seeing you" is a big part of making sure that minutes are moments.

I don't want my life to be measured by minutes. I want it to be so full of moments that there wouldn't be enough space in the blogosphere to capture them all.

Life is short and it is so full of things vying for my time that I don't want to miss a single moment of the important stuff. So, the next time we're together, if I'm not really there with you in the moment please, call me on it. Tell me I'm not seeing you.

Dead heading

A long time ago before I was a mom to two little boys under 3 I loved gardening. I still do - these days it just looks more like an appreciation rather than a love especially if you've seen my gardens.

There's a principle in gardening that I get. It's one of those like anything that just clicks for you... it just makes sense. It is the idea of dead heading.

What is meant by the phrase dead heading is that you prune, or even just pinch, off spent blossoms in order for the plant to thrive. It is a redirection of energy. The plant no longer has to use any energy supporting the faded bloom, rather it can spend all its energy on growing and producing more buds.

I've seen this principle at work like crazy in my gardens and it makes a world of difference.

At work in my own life is a similar principle but I have to say I'm just now learning it and paying close attention to it. It's marketed these days as strengths training. Gallup has done research and books have been written (so it has to be true!) that stress that we should be spending the best part of our energy working in the areas we are already strong in and find ways to delegate tasks that are not in areas of our strengths to people for whom those are their strengths.

This is SO counter-cultural in America. We usually look to find our weaknesses and work hard to improve on them.

So, in my day-to-day I wonder, where am I spending energy trying to support a spent flower? Where do I need to dead head and watch some crazy, beautiful growth take place?

Have you implemented this idea in your life? What have you learned?

Learning to fall

My son is learning to walk these days. That in and of itself can create tons of moments of wonder and tons of lessons.

I've found myself telling him time and time again though, that learning to walk is as much a lesson in learning to fall. I think I'm teaching myself that as much as I'm trying to teach him. The truth is, it's a lesson I'm still learning at the age of... well, a lot older than my son.


I read a great quote today on Carlos' blog and it is one I will be reminding myself of time and again through this learning process:

“I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot . . . and missed. And I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why . . . I succeed.”
Michael Jordan

I have a friend who also illustrates this for me in his writing career. He told me once that he has saved every single "no thank you" letter he's received from publishing companies.

I think it is important to recognize and affirm all of the times we try. Absolutely celebrate our successes! Celebrate big! But don't neglect affirming each other for trying and learning.

The reality is that we won't get it right every time we try and we stand to grow so much through the trying process. So we have to be willing to fail in order to succeed. What are you trying these days? In what area of life are you now "learning to fall"?

Happy January!

I've always loved the lines from You've Got Mail:

Joe Fox: Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils...

You see, I could be completely swept off my feet by a bouquet of sharpened pencils or a fresh new-smelling calendar. Not because I'm an office supply junkie (although a case could be made) but because I love new beginnings. If you want to find me brimming with energy and optimism look for me at a new beginning.

January with a new calendar in front of me or August when school starts. I love the chance to take a very deep breath, and pause to look at the upcoming future and create a plan.

And while by this time each year I'm knee deep in the process, this year has had a few unexpected interruptions but at this moment... I finally have some quiet. Real quiet and mental quiet.

I have a freshly sharpened pencil, a clean calendar and some space to breathe, pray and think. So, right now, I'm getting busy about that business. I'm asking questions: What does God want to show me in this new year? Who do I need to get up beside this year to encourage, support, walk together with and/or learn from? How can I be a better me, wife, mom, daughter, leader, friend this year? What do I need to do? What do I need to stop doing? And as I ask, listen and find answers a plan will take shape. And I will get to take my freshly sharpened pencil to my crisp clean calendar and get busy.

Happy January!

What does January inspire in you?