Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Questions

Maybe it comes with age. Somewhere along the line, I stopped having all the answers and now I feel like I have all the questions.
I think it's part maturing, part how I'm wired up and... part August.

I'm beginning to hold resentment toward August. School starts back up and schedules get back into gear, the fall ministry season is off and running and Christmas is ready to launch. Really, I shouldn't resent August. It is the month, after all, when the NFL finally graces my TV screen again!

But it is very much a month of questions. Sometimes it feels like I'm facing new questions as well as ones I had already settled months before. And then, there are questions that come out of nowhere. For me, my mind doesn't shut off neatly when the appropriate time is up. In fact, the questions don't shut off at all until they are answered. I "chew" on them while I fix dinner, do laundry, take a "relaxing" walk (right!) and even while I sleep. My mind is constantly trying to find the solution to the problem.

To be completely honest, it's exhausting. I've found a few things recently that will divert my focus for short periods of time, but nothing that will truly give me the mental rest I need until an answer is found. Maybe the answer is September. Surely by September the questions have to be answered. Right?

So, how do you deal with wrestling with unanswered questions?

2 comments:

Chris said...

I'm afraid it actually might be January...

Cynthia Cullen said...

It really depends where I am in my journey with God on how I handle unanswered questions. When I am trusting Him, I am at peace. When I'm living life on my own, I'm a mess!