Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Love/Hate Relationship

I love my job.  I hate my job.  I'm not being duplicitous.  Just honest.  There are so many things to love like the people I get to share life with and share ministry with.  Like the services where "it" just works.  Like the chance to make my living doing what I'm absolutely addicted to doing anyway and used to do as a volunteer. There are so many things to love.  

And then there are the situations that always come up in ministry that just stink! (ok.... that's gone through my "baptist-girl" filter.)  Great ideas come a day late and a dollar short (or several $s).  People go bump.  Poor choices are made that negatively impact exponential numbers of people.  You see people you love suffering.  

It's so often the ministry leader's job be the one to address these situations head on when I'd really rather it be someone else's responsibility.  

The truth is, the great parts and the incredibly hard parts of ministry always leave me feeling incredibly unqualified, unprepared, incompetent and extremely humbled.  

And while I can't tell you what my reaction to the next "this was not in the art's directors handbook" situation will be (ok other than tears... those are a given).  

I can say that for today I am still praying "Bring it on, God" but with a very sober appreciation for that challenge. 

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